Paula: My Story of Betrayal and Pain

Paula recently wrote to us with a really heartbreaking story of how her sister got infected with the herpes virus from her husband and how these series of events eventually led to the breakup of their marriage. Here is that story…

For genital herpes patients everywhere, you have to admit that what makes the hurt worse is the feeling of betrayal that can sometimes come with getting diagnosed with the infection. Though it is always a pain to be suffering from any sort of illness, the feeling is even worse when you know that someone you cared about caused it. It sometimes can feel like the pain is doubled.

Pain and betrayal often come with finding out that you have been infected with the herpes virus and this can make it very hard for someone to get over it and move on with their lives. In many cases, people that experience these usually have a cheating spouse or maybe a sexually active partner who do these things behind their back. Any sexually transmitted disease acquired from cheating will cause the person suffering from the disease more burden and sufferings. And that’s what every patient should think about.

Herpes Can Cause Some Sort of Depression

Records even show that almost half of the genital herpes patients eventually have breakdowns of some sort (editor’s note: this is from the writer’s perspective and we have no real proof of this!). And more often than not, this is not caused by the infection, but probably because of the fact that their partner betrayed them and gave them an infection that cannot be cured. The common symptoms of genital herpes such as severe headaches and back pains can be taken care of through various treatments and medication, but the pain in your heart is not that easy to overcome.

Last year, my sister was diagnosed with herpes and the doctor told her that an infection with the HSV-1 is something that cannot be cured at the moment. When she got back from the clinic, she called me in tears and I told her that I would come over to her house to see her and so we can talk about it.

When I got to their place, I saw her so down and depressed. She has been married to a soldier for two years. Their lives seemed totally happy until she started having some strange symptoms and later realized that she got the infection.

Reality bites

Her happy reality was shattered when her husband admitted to cheating on her. He had a casual sexual affair with a woman that he only met when he was away from home. Although he did admit to cheating on her, this never really eased the pain that my sister felt.  After all, she still had to suffer the consequences of what he did to her for the rest of her life.

After a while, she realized that she could not continue on living inside of their marriage. So my sister then decided to split up with her husband and she eventually filed for divorce.

It was a good thing that they still did not have kids who had to suffer through this bitter kind of breakup. In the end, she went back home to our parents’ house where I was also staying. It took her almost a year before she started to make that journey to get back to her old self again.

Often times I would see her looking into the distance. I guess she was full of deep thoughts then. Most of the time, she would not even go out and just told us that she wanted to stay at home.

Healing Takes Time

Although the pain and sores that herpes outbreaks cause eventually fade, the pain that she felt inside her was not that easy to forget.

Unfaithfulness causes pain and if you are really unlucky or just plain stupid, you can also get genital herpes. That was the lesson that I learned here. The feeling of being betrayed is what makes everything so much worse. It will eventually lead to broken homes and uncertain futures for everybody involved.

However, you can still go on with your life. This was also something that I learned from my sister. It may not be in just a snap of a finger. It would really take some time but it is really possible.

Things Can Go Back to Normal

Just look at my sister now. She is currently employed in one of the larger accounting firms in our area.

She is starting to begin her life and probably looking for a man that will not bother about her past. (editor’s note: need help getting a date? check out our review of various herpes dating sites here!)

I can see that my sister is starting to get the smile back on her face and she has started to joke around with people once again.

Now I understand that it is not the genital herpes virus that will cause you much pain. But it’s the truth that you partner betrayed you and brought you such consequence.

Thank you Paula for sharing this with us!

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1 Comment

  1. oh no

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